musings
Saturday, May 01, 2004
what a difference a day made..24 little hours..
(there's a whole lot of emotions going on inside of me right now. so pardon the paranoia..)
im being resented. i know... i perfectly know... i perfectly know that she blames me because he's been home late and has been staying away from home..
and im too blame. yes... but how come you resent me that much? have i taken him away from his friends? have i taken him away from her? it's so hard being with him knowing that she is scowling behind our back. i wonder what was it that she said.
heck, i dont wanna know. i dont want to have another breakdown do i?it's so unfair going to sleep crying..i will go on masquerading.. i will bask in this love until one day the thought that's been at the back of my mind, sitting quietly, will slowly gnaw its way out of me..i cant afford to lose the one person that matters most to me. why cant she see that? i didnt want him to go just now.... i was so afraid. afraid that it would be the last time.. maybe im just reading too much into the situation. maybe it's not that bad but my intuition is saying the otherwise. it's like that classic romeo and juliet tale. harrrrr di haaaa haaaa..
i dont understand ... i fucking dont understand.. yes, she did something wrong. yes, THEY did something wrong.. but they're gonna face this together...he's not running away is he? he has been the most caring guy ever. he has been treating her like she's a million bucks but you treated her like shit. you took her money every chance that youve got and now you have the decency to stick your fucking nose into her life? after all the scars youve inflicted on her. after all the pain youve put her through.. you wanna put her through pain some more? why cant it just stop?.. why cant you see the bigger picture that there's a new life coming and just embrace it? what's done is done. you cant fucking turn back the time. what good will it do sending her away? away from him; the one person who truly cares for her?is this the only way to go through this situation?.... why?... i love you Nuraisah Azurin..
dont take my friend away from me..................................
gist released @ 11:55 PM
xxx
Thursday, April 29, 2004
bad day.
holding back your tears @ a train station seems mighty impossible. i did. for awhile..but it clouded my vision and it came trickling down.
he risked getting scolded by his mum to accompany me and i threw a tantrum. im sorry...
gist released @ 9:42 PM
xxx
Sunday, April 25, 2004
your dreams are being acted on screen..
it's a sunday and ive been home eversince i woke up around 11 plus....our plans to go for our weekly escapade has been put off cause of the poorness of a certain somebody. (hint, me.)
neways......wanna catch starsky and hutch. been hearing good reviews bout the movie, yo(heheh..cant help it.) especially bout a certain dragon scene... and wanna catch 50 first dates. how cool can that get!? iceeeeeeee cold. having a chance to create that nerve-wrecking first impression over and over again on that someone you've been eyeing. dont get me wrong GOD, i dont wanna be losing my memory after every 24 hours. and of course.. i wanna watch dawn of the dead.. my expectations of the movie's super high..yeah, if all goes according to plan tomorrow.. i'd be blogging about how the movie went..whether it has left me squirming in my seats or just plainly bored the crap out of me.
anyway, that agency called and arranged for an appointment last saturday but i told them i was busy.. they asked me to come down on monday instead around 2 at singapore shopping centre. ive gots scars all over you dimwit.. and pimples. and am not photogenic at all ass. stop blowing up my ego. thank you very nice. heck, i need moooolahs pretty badly okay. so depressing not having any money. i dont even have 10 cents on me right now. i want a job..ahh... hopefully mom's friend is still in need of someone over at the hotel.
pictureeeeees from last last week. the bill amounted up to 104. enjoyable day. kumar, glenn ong and others were there for the europe fan something2.. had a blast laughing my heart out. well not literally.
gist released @ 9:10 PM
xxx
what a difference a day made..24 little hours..
(there's a whole lot of emotions going on inside of me right now. so pardon the paranoia..)
im being resented. i know... i perfectly know... i perfectly know that she blames me because he's been home late and has been staying away from home..
and im too blame. yes... but how come you resent me that much? have i taken him away from his friends? have i taken him away from her? it's so hard being with him knowing that she is scowling behind our back. i wonder what was it that she said.
heck, i dont wanna know. i dont want to have another breakdown do i?it's so unfair going to sleep crying..i will go on masquerading.. i will bask in this love until one day the thought that's been at the back of my mind, sitting quietly, will slowly gnaw its way out of me..i cant afford to lose the one person that matters most to me. why cant she see that? i didnt want him to go just now.... i was so afraid. afraid that it would be the last time.. maybe im just reading too much into the situation. maybe it's not that bad but my intuition is saying the otherwise. it's like that classic romeo and juliet tale. harrrrr di haaaa haaaa..
i dont understand ... i fucking dont understand.. yes, she did something wrong. yes, THEY did something wrong.. but they're gonna face this together...he's not running away is he? he has been the most caring guy ever. he has been treating her like she's a million bucks but you treated her like shit. you took her money every chance that youve got and now you have the decency to stick your fucking nose into her life? after all the scars youve inflicted on her. after all the pain youve put her through.. you wanna put her through pain some more? why cant it just stop?.. why cant you see the bigger picture that there's a new life coming and just embrace it? what's done is done. you cant fucking turn back the time. what good will it do sending her away? away from him; the one person who truly cares for her?is this the only way to go through this situation?.... why?... i love you Nuraisah Azurin..
dont take my friend away from me..................................
gist released @ 11:55 PM
xxx
Thursday, April 29, 2004
bad day.
holding back your tears @ a train station seems mighty impossible. i did. for awhile..but it clouded my vision and it came trickling down.
he risked getting scolded by his mum to accompany me and i threw a tantrum. im sorry...
gist released @ 9:42 PM
xxx
Sunday, April 25, 2004
your dreams are being acted on screen..
it's a sunday and ive been home eversince i woke up around 11 plus....our plans to go for our weekly escapade has been put off cause of the poorness of a certain somebody. (hint, me.)
neways......wanna catch starsky and hutch. been hearing good reviews bout the movie, yo(heheh..cant help it.) especially bout a certain dragon scene... and wanna catch 50 first dates. how cool can that get!? iceeeeeeee cold. having a chance to create that nerve-wrecking first impression over and over again on that someone you've been eyeing. dont get me wrong GOD, i dont wanna be losing my memory after every 24 hours. and of course.. i wanna watch dawn of the dead.. my expectations of the movie's super high..yeah, if all goes according to plan tomorrow.. i'd be blogging about how the movie went..whether it has left me squirming in my seats or just plainly bored the crap out of me.
anyway, that agency called and arranged for an appointment last saturday but i told them i was busy.. they asked me to come down on monday instead around 2 at singapore shopping centre. ive gots scars all over you dimwit.. and pimples. and am not photogenic at all ass. stop blowing up my ego. thank you very nice. heck, i need moooolahs pretty badly okay. so depressing not having any money. i dont even have 10 cents on me right now. i want a job..ahh... hopefully mom's friend is still in need of someone over at the hotel.
pictureeeeees from last last week. the bill amounted up to 104. enjoyable day. kumar, glenn ong and others were there for the europe fan something2.. had a blast laughing my heart out. well not literally.
gist released @ 9:10 PM
xxx
name:ruzzanna bte sulaiman