musings
Saturday, January 17, 2004
he's my weakness.
so.. i just got back from a lepak session with dzdan, zul and hidah at civics. the four of us combined equals bundles of laughters. i saw alot of scene kids at the interchange just now. one particular guy caught my eye. he was wearing a gre/ay suit with a black tee underneath. and his 3/4 pants with his converse shoes(or was it jack purcell?) and the high socks. he reminded me of simple plan(dont ask me why.)
i hate feeling flabbergasted. and that was exactly how i was feeling when i bumped into fauzi that day and fuck it, boy was there. the last person i wanted to bump into. two face son of a good mother. (i dont know his mom uh so yeah.) i wish i was a pragmatic kinda person. so whenever a problem arises, i'll deal with it in a sensible way. but me? sensible? nah uh. hoh. instead, i backtracked and went off in another direction. wanting to avoid that boy. bullocks to you larrrrh. ruined my day.
i want something hallucinatory. so i can get high and imagine things. i've never actually been as they might say.. wasted? yeah. you only live once right? hoho im having weird thoughts right now.. but knowing myself, i prolly wont.
gist released @ 10:46 PM
xxx
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Every little girl's dream
Once upon a time..
It seems all stories started with that line
Through downpours and shedded tears
She still forged a smile despite her fears
Because this little girl had a dream
A dream so pure and exquisite
Like a play where all the actors have their entrances and exits
A guy came,took her heart and went away
She tried hard to stay sane despite her world turning grey
Another came,played her out and just walked away
All these foolish games played..
Slowly..her faith fades away
She wished someone would come
Just to tell her everything was going to be okay
Just one wish..
Make that person want to stay
Like a clown she puts on a show
Her pain is real though she wont let it show
Her ever fragile heart got broken again and again
She decides to build a wall
Brick by brick to push away all her pain
Her wall was standing tall and strong
But her wall had cracks and holes seeping through her heart
Hoping just one day someone would knock this wall down
Wishing just one day..Someone would take away her frown
Happily ever after
She grew strong.It could be heard from her laughter
Through her laughter,there was a hidden tear
Through her tear,there was a hidden fear
Foolish girl in a messed up world
Complete trust..Complete surrender
Foolish,gullible..that was her
With confusions deep within
Bundled with certainty and uncertainty,
She wont cry these tears anymore
Somehow..She kept on believing in her dream
A dream of that special soul..charming indeed
Sent from above to adhere to her needs
i miss him more than ever okay. hmmmmmmph. i've got a job now...dont know when can see him already. alarrr... bagus uh tuh. dua2 busy eh. bestttt.
gist released @ 11:22 PM
xxx
Monday, January 12, 2004
you've got me like a loaded gun
i wrote a very mushy entry. but then i decided to re-type this entry cause it was too mushy for me? hah.
i dont know if i want to go. maybe i'll drag nashie along on the 31st. i dont want girls giving me the evil eye. i'm afraid of girls. they scare me.
yes, i'm very paranoid.
black or white?
i want my boyfrienddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
ah. that felt good.
gist released @ 9:25 PM
xxx
Sunday, January 11, 2004
babies.
Yesterday was dinn's birthday. He turned a big 1-9 and today, yanti turns 18. so much happened durin the past 1 year. it's not the same anymore..
Dinn will be reporting in at tekong tomorrow. i'm gonna miss that dude. he will be the missing puzzle in the group. now it will get weird going out with din, nizar, husain and all without dinn as the piece that holds us all together just like how it would be weird when zurin goes away or something. but then he books out every saturday. so ho hum no difference.
got to know something yesterday. i was the 2nd one to know... after dinn that is. hope everything works out for them..the outing was okay. got bingit at first when they turned up around 5 plus? but we were all supposed to meet at City Hall at 4. punctuality, my ass. thank god for nashie and dewi? yeay. went to eat at Bk. actually, i only had fries.. while waiting for the stars to come. and they came.. dinn, zurin followed by iss. i was panicking sia. and i asked zurin who else is coming and what a relief it was when she said dincet, nizar, ab plus husain was coming along too. except they were going to be a little late. went to lau pa sat. iss was sitting beside me and i got teased by him alot of times okay. the whole way.... grrr. then proceeded to boat quay. here, i sat down with ab and had a long talk with him. just the two of us facing the river.(river eh?) had alot of catching up to do with him. been such a long time since i last saw him. and when we joined the group later nizar said. "oooh.. bilang sammy baru tahu eh." then i just shrugged it off cause it was just a talk and for goodness sake. ab's like a bruddddah. and later ended up kat clarke quay. the night life's pretty tempting eh? not much of a hoooo haaa though.went home taking 190 from there with zurin plus iss and later took 187. that was my saturday.. how was yours?hah.
i've been getting stupid phone calls lately early in the morning. just yesterday, i was awoken up from my deeeeep slumber by a phone call. don't know from who though cause the fucker refuses to answer my sleepy hello's. and the nicest thing was that i couldn't get back to sleep after that. so woe to you whoever woke me up at 8 am in the morning. dieeeeee you. die!
i miss you lar. i miss you.... i miss our late night conversations. i was a lil (uh dont know what's the correct word to use) when he sms-ed "the phone's in my parents room..how?" so yeah. call me tonight ?
gist released @ 6:05 PM
xxx
he's my weakness.
so.. i just got back from a lepak session with dzdan, zul and hidah at civics. the four of us combined equals bundles of laughters. i saw alot of scene kids at the interchange just now. one particular guy caught my eye. he was wearing a gre/ay suit with a black tee underneath. and his 3/4 pants with his converse shoes(or was it jack purcell?) and the high socks. he reminded me of simple plan(dont ask me why.)
i hate feeling flabbergasted. and that was exactly how i was feeling when i bumped into fauzi that day and fuck it, boy was there. the last person i wanted to bump into. two face son of a good mother. (i dont know his mom uh so yeah.) i wish i was a pragmatic kinda person. so whenever a problem arises, i'll deal with it in a sensible way. but me? sensible? nah uh. hoh. instead, i backtracked and went off in another direction. wanting to avoid that boy. bullocks to you larrrrh. ruined my day.
i want something hallucinatory. so i can get high and imagine things. i've never actually been as they might say.. wasted? yeah. you only live once right? hoho im having weird thoughts right now.. but knowing myself, i prolly wont.
gist released @ 10:46 PM
xxx
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Every little girl's dream
Once upon a time..
It seems all stories started with that line
Through downpours and shedded tears
She still forged a smile despite her fears
Because this little girl had a dream
A dream so pure and exquisite
Like a play where all the actors have their entrances and exits
A guy came,took her heart and went away
She tried hard to stay sane despite her world turning grey
Another came,played her out and just walked away
All these foolish games played..
Slowly..her faith fades away
She wished someone would come
Just to tell her everything was going to be okay
Just one wish..
Make that person want to stay
Like a clown she puts on a show
Her pain is real though she wont let it show
Her ever fragile heart got broken again and again
She decides to build a wall
Brick by brick to push away all her pain
Her wall was standing tall and strong
But her wall had cracks and holes seeping through her heart
Hoping just one day someone would knock this wall down
Wishing just one day..Someone would take away her frown
Happily ever after
She grew strong.It could be heard from her laughter
Through her laughter,there was a hidden tear
Through her tear,there was a hidden fear
Foolish girl in a messed up world
Complete trust..Complete surrender
Foolish,gullible..that was her
With confusions deep within
Bundled with certainty and uncertainty,
She wont cry these tears anymore
Somehow..She kept on believing in her dream
A dream of that special soul..charming indeed
Sent from above to adhere to her needs
i miss him more than ever okay. hmmmmmmph. i've got a job now...dont know when can see him already. alarrr... bagus uh tuh. dua2 busy eh. bestttt.
gist released @ 11:22 PM
xxx
Monday, January 12, 2004
you've got me like a loaded gun
i wrote a very mushy entry. but then i decided to re-type this entry cause it was too mushy for me? hah.
i dont know if i want to go. maybe i'll drag nashie along on the 31st. i dont want girls giving me the evil eye. i'm afraid of girls. they scare me.
yes, i'm very paranoid.
black or white?
i want my boyfrienddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
ah. that felt good.
gist released @ 9:25 PM
xxx
Sunday, January 11, 2004
babies.
Yesterday was dinn's birthday. He turned a big 1-9 and today, yanti turns 18. so much happened durin the past 1 year. it's not the same anymore..
Dinn will be reporting in at tekong tomorrow. i'm gonna miss that dude. he will be the missing puzzle in the group. now it will get weird going out with din, nizar, husain and all without dinn as the piece that holds us all together just like how it would be weird when zurin goes away or something. but then he books out every saturday. so ho hum no difference.
got to know something yesterday. i was the 2nd one to know... after dinn that is. hope everything works out for them..the outing was okay. got bingit at first when they turned up around 5 plus? but we were all supposed to meet at City Hall at 4. punctuality, my ass. thank god for nashie and dewi? yeay. went to eat at Bk. actually, i only had fries.. while waiting for the stars to come. and they came.. dinn, zurin followed by iss. i was panicking sia. and i asked zurin who else is coming and what a relief it was when she said dincet, nizar, ab plus husain was coming along too. except they were going to be a little late. went to lau pa sat. iss was sitting beside me and i got teased by him alot of times okay. the whole way.... grrr. then proceeded to boat quay. here, i sat down with ab and had a long talk with him. just the two of us facing the river.(river eh?) had alot of catching up to do with him. been such a long time since i last saw him. and when we joined the group later nizar said. "oooh.. bilang sammy baru tahu eh." then i just shrugged it off cause it was just a talk and for goodness sake. ab's like a bruddddah. and later ended up kat clarke quay. the night life's pretty tempting eh? not much of a hoooo haaa though.went home taking 190 from there with zurin plus iss and later took 187. that was my saturday.. how was yours?hah.
i've been getting stupid phone calls lately early in the morning. just yesterday, i was awoken up from my deeeeep slumber by a phone call. don't know from who though cause the fucker refuses to answer my sleepy hello's. and the nicest thing was that i couldn't get back to sleep after that. so woe to you whoever woke me up at 8 am in the morning. dieeeeee you. die!
i miss you lar. i miss you.... i miss our late night conversations. i was a lil (uh dont know what's the correct word to use) when he sms-ed "the phone's in my parents room..how?" so yeah. call me tonight ?
gist released @ 6:05 PM
xxx
name:ruzzanna bte sulaiman