musings
Friday, April 15, 2005
sis walks into my room.
sister: happy birthday!
me=silly grin.
sister: money or present?
this was a first. naturally, i opted for money.. heh.
gist released @ 12:11 AM
xxx
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
it's been awhile...
poooopooooop boy.
i turn eighteen in one month... how can i turn eighteen in one month and still am afraid of the dark? how can i turn eighteen in one month and still sulk after pompom boy ripped my elmo :( apart? how can i turn eighteen in one month when i still feel like someone who's not turning eighteen in one month?
gist released @ 11:37 PM
xxx
Thursday, February 24, 2005
tisbury lane.
i'd never thought that a song could have such an effect on me - make me feel serene.. but it was just that. hearing the strumming of the guitar booming through the speakers as i sat in the dark with nothing disturbing my peace except for the few occasional sound coming from the road.
the song and his hypnotic voice engulfed me with a sense of ease that i had miss for the past week cause my head had been bombarded with what if's.. and i got scared.
and, i got to a friend's page...a friend with who i exchange polite hello's and goodbye's.. and occassionaly got into small talk with her. her father had passed away. with the song playing through her page. i felt her pain.. i've never thought about my own mom or dad passing away.. i've always thought they'd be there forever.. not realising that every single day, they grew older.. and every single day, i forgot about the state of my mind three years ago..the way it was eating me up.. and i got scared again.. i wish time would stop.
i hope chelsea lose. muaaaaaahaaaaaahaha.
gist released @ 3:06 AM
xxx
Friday, February 18, 2005
i hate the weather
gist released @ 3:31 PM
xxx
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
the thing about relationships is that you become so dependent on the other person so suddenly (and yet not so suddenly because it was so unconscious and gradual) that one day (and every other day after that) you forgot you swore and thought once upon a time never to be jealous, never to demand, never to expect, never to want, never to insist, never to throw tantrum, never to coerce, never to cajole, never to cling, never to depend, never to think 'we', never to plan your life around one person, never to be affected by tiny nuanced moodswings.
one day, you suddenly forget that once upon a long time ago, you did not want to be a river that others may cause ceaseless ripples on simply by throwing a miniscule pebble. It was absolutely disgusting when you hear about girls getting upset that their boys cannot accompany them. That is like, STUPID INFANTILE GIRLS YOU ARE SO WIMPY! NO BACKBONE! What? Are you girls some kinda INVERTEBRATES?! GOD You bring shame onto Womenfolk! YUCKS TO YOU.
logical, sensible, independent you wisely point out to the abovementioned girls that their boys have work to do, social networks to upkeep, family committments to handle, and haply dish out other sagely advice. you wisely become so complacent and confident about thyself that you fold your arms and leaned back and watched the world go by whilst half-listening to your girl endless whinings about her insensitive boy and thus reducing herself to a worthless, pathetic, dependent, girl. you think to yourself "man, i will never be like that. i will not whine. i will be whined about." then one day, you realize with horror that you have been transformed by a funky permutation of your DNA into a infantile, wimpy, no backbone!, some kinda invertebrates?!, yucks to you, dependent, GIRL.
you swear to right the wrong and over the next few days attempt to manipulate your funked DNA back to what it was.
it works for a few days and you manage to stay in the relationship like you originally planned but the whole castle in the air collapses when your boy does some silly thing and throws your whole momenta into disarray and you get pissed off and you snap at him and then horror of horrors! your funky DNA is back.
relationships. what can anyone make of it. it's like trying to catch that a slippery rubber water snake in a tub full of water. you think you've got it, but as soon as you think that, things will be such that you realize you haven't got anything at all.
gist released @ 2:45 AM
xxx
sis walks into my room.
sister: happy birthday!
me=silly grin.
sister: money or present?
this was a first. naturally, i opted for money.. heh.
gist released @ 12:11 AM
xxx
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
it's been awhile...
poooopooooop boy.
i turn eighteen in one month... how can i turn eighteen in one month and still am afraid of the dark? how can i turn eighteen in one month and still sulk after pompom boy ripped my elmo :( apart? how can i turn eighteen in one month when i still feel like someone who's not turning eighteen in one month?
gist released @ 11:37 PM
xxx
Thursday, February 24, 2005
tisbury lane.
i'd never thought that a song could have such an effect on me - make me feel serene.. but it was just that. hearing the strumming of the guitar booming through the speakers as i sat in the dark with nothing disturbing my peace except for the few occasional sound coming from the road.
the song and his hypnotic voice engulfed me with a sense of ease that i had miss for the past week cause my head had been bombarded with what if's.. and i got scared.
and, i got to a friend's page...a friend with who i exchange polite hello's and goodbye's.. and occassionaly got into small talk with her. her father had passed away. with the song playing through her page. i felt her pain.. i've never thought about my own mom or dad passing away.. i've always thought they'd be there forever.. not realising that every single day, they grew older.. and every single day, i forgot about the state of my mind three years ago..the way it was eating me up.. and i got scared again.. i wish time would stop.
i hope chelsea lose. muaaaaaahaaaaaahaha.
gist released @ 3:06 AM
xxx
Friday, February 18, 2005
i hate the weather
gist released @ 3:31 PM
xxx
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
the thing about relationships is that you become so dependent on the other person so suddenly (and yet not so suddenly because it was so unconscious and gradual) that one day (and every other day after that) you forgot you swore and thought once upon a time never to be jealous, never to demand, never to expect, never to want, never to insist, never to throw tantrum, never to coerce, never to cajole, never to cling, never to depend, never to think 'we', never to plan your life around one person, never to be affected by tiny nuanced moodswings.
one day, you suddenly forget that once upon a long time ago, you did not want to be a river that others may cause ceaseless ripples on simply by throwing a miniscule pebble. It was absolutely disgusting when you hear about girls getting upset that their boys cannot accompany them. That is like, STUPID INFANTILE GIRLS YOU ARE SO WIMPY! NO BACKBONE! What? Are you girls some kinda INVERTEBRATES?! GOD You bring shame onto Womenfolk! YUCKS TO YOU.
logical, sensible, independent you wisely point out to the abovementioned girls that their boys have work to do, social networks to upkeep, family committments to handle, and haply dish out other sagely advice. you wisely become so complacent and confident about thyself that you fold your arms and leaned back and watched the world go by whilst half-listening to your girl endless whinings about her insensitive boy and thus reducing herself to a worthless, pathetic, dependent, girl. you think to yourself "man, i will never be like that. i will not whine. i will be whined about." then one day, you realize with horror that you have been transformed by a funky permutation of your DNA into a infantile, wimpy, no backbone!, some kinda invertebrates?!, yucks to you, dependent, GIRL.
you swear to right the wrong and over the next few days attempt to manipulate your funked DNA back to what it was.
it works for a few days and you manage to stay in the relationship like you originally planned but the whole castle in the air collapses when your boy does some silly thing and throws your whole momenta into disarray and you get pissed off and you snap at him and then horror of horrors! your funky DNA is back.
relationships. what can anyone make of it. it's like trying to catch that a slippery rubber water snake in a tub full of water. you think you've got it, but as soon as you think that, things will be such that you realize you haven't got anything at all.
gist released @ 2:45 AM
xxx
name:ruzzanna bte sulaiman